Jeff Gannon Blog

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

I'd Do It For My Country

I must say that I am TOUCHED. Several dozens of thousands of MY FANS have made it clear to me that I should put my HAT IN THE RING and apply to be the next press secretary for our Commander AND Chief, George W. Bush. And while I know that I would kick MAJOR ASS during all confrontations with LIBELOUS LEFTY SWILL MERCHANTS, I must say that I wasn't super stoked about the whole idea after reading the first couple dozens of thousands of emails and letters that came pouring in. It took several more dozens of thousands of emails and letters to finally convince me that I needed to do this for MY COUNTRY.

So I have decided to nominate myself for the position. I'm sure my fans will mobalize and create a MASSIVE PETITION. I will offer you three ROCK HARD SOLID reasons why I am the most qualified candidate for the position.


#3
I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE LEFTISTS AND OTHER LIBERAL PEACE-NICKS/POT HEADS
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It's so easy to debate the Looney Libs in the Liberal Media because they never have their own plan. Who is HELLEN THOMAS to criticize our Commander AND Chief while TROOPS ARE ON THE GROUND, and at the same time not even have her own plan? Americans just don't respect that. David Gregory can start asking tough questions the day he passes his own Medicare plan. Does he think it's easy? It's HARD WORK.

#2
LOONEY LEFTOCRATS IN THE PRESS LOVE FRENCH NEW WAVE FILM
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Though it was HARD, it's probably good that I finally came out. After a long day of KICKING ASS AND TAKING NAMES at the podium, I'll be able to gain favor again through regular FREE screenings in the White House theater. I've been debating whether to go chronological starting with the films that influenced the young Turks - - -Early Hitchcock, American Westerns, Renoir, Hawkes, etc - - - followed by the mid/late-50's precursors - - - Elevator to the Gallows, And God Created Woman, Les Mistons - - - and then onto the main course on a year by year basis. The alternative would be to go director by director - - - Godard, Truffaut, Chabrol, Rivette (If you haven't seen "Celine and Julie Go Boating," run don't walk), Rohmer, Varda, Marker, Resnais, and more. This series of screenings would extend WELL BEYOND the time period that is considered the French New Wave, so I suppose "Directors Who Were A Part Of The French New Wave" would be the best title for the screening series.

#1
I'M EXTREMELY FAMILIAR WITH THIS WHOLE PLAME BUSINESS

My groundbreaking report SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

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