Jeff Gannon Blog

Saturday, February 26, 2005

A Lot Of Junk Is Being Said About Me

I have decided not to address any particular accusation against me. A lot of fabricated stuff is being said about me. Other stuff is true. I won't talk about either.

I have admitted a love for French New Wave Films. Aren't you BONKERS witch-hunters satisfied with that?

Anyway. Here's a great picture of the best first LADY in the history of first LADIES.

Great Picture

For Those Of You Who Have Been Out Of The Country

See here.

And here.

I'm Making A Few Changes To The Site

But I'm still Not Jeff Gannon.

Friday, February 25, 2005

I've Decided To Keep It Simple

Good Luck Everyone.

The Official Application For admittance Into The Best Not Jeff Gannon Blog Network

Name of Blog:

Web Address:

1)Are you Jeff Gannon?

2)Are you that guy who's also not really Jeff Gannon?

3)Does your blog clearly state that you are not Jeff Gannon?

4)Have you checked out my exclusive French New Wave Wishlist?

stolen kisses

5)In 15 words or less, tell me why your blog deserves to be included in The Best Not Jeff Gannon Blog Network.

6)What is your favorite French New Wave film and why?

jules et jim

7)What is your all-time favorite Steve Sanders storyline?

steve sanders 2

Send all applications to jeffgannon@mac.com

An Unvarnished Bit Of Housekeeping

Since it appears everyone is BONKERS wild about the idea of joining TBNJGBN, I've decided to erect an official application process. Details to follow.

In the meantime, why don't you chat about what you'd like to see in a Not Jeff Gannon website.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

I Went Bonkers And Created An Empire (TBNJGBN)

As many of you know, I was recently tempted by a chance to go off and hunt aliens in Arizona with my 7.2 Inch Mini Cougar. And, as many of those people know, I decided against it due to the fact that I was BONKERS mad because someone else who wasn't really Jeff Gannon started a blog.

I decided to use that BONKERS energy and created The Best Not Jeff Gannon Blog Network and have purchased the rights to four other prominent not Jeff Gannon websites. They are now under my control. Previous posts have been left up in respect to the work of the previous owners. I'm sorry if your not Jeff Gannon website didn't make the cut.

So I would like to introduce to you the founding members of The Best Not Jeff Gannon Blog Network (The Best Not Jeff Gannon Blog Network):

Knot Jeff Gannon

Please Don't Call Me Jeff or Gannon


The Jeff Gannon Experience

Jeff Gannon is not my name.

UPDATE:

Not Rich or Jeff Gannon joins TBNJGBN.

Feel free to pass along any sites you think may be worthy of joining the Network.

UPDATE 2:

Everybody welcome Neither Rich Nor Jeff Gannon (For Grammatically Correct A-Wipes)

I Will NOT Sell My Blog

As many of you may know, another guy who is not really Jeff Gannon has started his own blog. I'm taking this as a personal insult to me (Not Jeff Gannon) and my blog is no longer for sale.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

This Is The Site You've Been Hearing About

As many of you know I've been contemplating joining the Minutemen and patrolling the Mexico/Arizona border with my 7.2 Inch Mini Cougar. Well I've decided to do it.

I did some research and found out that they do have DVD players near Mexico and it would be no problem for me to watch my French New Wave Films while off duty.

Unfortunately, that won't leave much time for blogging. So I've decided to put my site up for sale.

Please post offers in the comment section or by email. Don't worry, I will choose the proper person to not be Jeff Gannon and I will continue to blog myself (Not Jeff Gannon) until the day I head to the frontier.

Soon I'll Be Making The First In What I Anticipate Will Be A Series Of Giant Announcements

MACULINE FEMININE

MASCULINE FEMININE, originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.

Until then, make plans to see this movie in the next two days.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

An Unvarnished Snippet From My Unfiltered Journal

Please note: This is NOT Jeff Gannon's journal.

Tuesday, October 21st 2003:

Slept in late due to a long night of shoe polish reporting . . . Filled my bowl with Fruit Loops only to discover I was out of milk . . . Popped by the WH on the way to the gym and asked a question . . . Gym was packed . . . Bought milk on the way home from the gym . . . Brainstormed possible Halloween costume ideas . . . Added milk to my bowl of Fruit Loops . . . Got to the bottom of big story involving a lying Ambassador who used his connections to score a sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet trip to Niger (we should all be so lucky) . . . Narrowed down costume ideas to Pilgrim or Sonny (would have to find a Cher) . . .

Wednesday, October 29th 2003:

Woke up super early to catch cooking segment on The Today Show . . . Went to grocery store to buy ingredients for Today Show recipe, but got a HORRIBLE deli number . . . Used the time to run down to the WH and shoot off a few questions . . . Dropped off perishables and ran right back out to look for Pilgrim shoes at the costume shop . . . Met a top notch source at our usual spot (shooting range) and obtained some killer tips between shots (7.2 Inch Mini Cougar) . . . Rewound tape so I could rewatch the Today Show cooking segment as I cooked . . .

Friday, October 31st 2003:

Went to library to research Pilgrims (Hoping to learn something about their mannerisms, speech paterns, etc) but couldn't find anything I could use . . . Finalized plans with my newest source to meet at KR's halloween party (he'll be an Indian so it won't look strange when he gives me hot tips throughout the night) . . . Drank too many El Presidente's . . .

I'm Going BONKERS With All The Stuff I Need To Get To


Shoe Polish, originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.

But I guess that's the life of a shoe polish reporter. My destiny.

Chat away and stay tuned.

Should I Go Patrol The Mexican Border With My 7.2 Inch Mini Cougar?

This is such a good idea. A man named Jim Gilchrist (Perhaps he should change his name to something easier to spell, pronounce and remember. Something like Jeff Gilchrist.) is recruiting Minuteman to help keep filthy non-Americans out of clean and dry-heated Arizona. I know I'm up for the job because when my 7.2 Inch Mini Cougar and I are in action, people often call me the Minuteman.

There is absolutely nothing at all that could go wrong with this idea and if I wasn't so in love with shoe polish reporting and French New Wave Cinema (do they have DVD players near Mexico?) I would definately join the ranks. Plus, it seems as if you guys really love me, and would probably be devastated if I had to stop blogging. (Do they have blogs near Mexico?)

I would not like to thank that BONKERS Lefty Atrios for the link.

Monday, February 21, 2005

EXCLUSIVE UNVARNISHING


More Real AARP, originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.

Through the shear strength of my shoe polish reporting I was able to obtain an advanced copy of a future anti-AARP ad. Seriously, why would old people listen to an organization BONKERS enough to be against Rocky and Adrian, yet in favor of Ivan Drago. It's BONKERS.

A Potpourri Of Unvarnished Thoughts (New Regular Feature)

Those BONKERS Lefties of the AARP are really starting to frighten me with their pro-gay/anti-soldier agenda. More ads like this please.

The Real AARP, originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.

What makes this Unfiltered declaration of truth even more powerful is that it's got the Rock Hard integrity of the Swift Boat Veterans behind it. Like I said, more of this please.

Although I used to be a nationally ranked discuss hurler my favorite sport to watch is baseball and my favorite team is the Red Sox. Curt Schilling sure knows his politics.

Can anyone recommend a good razor blade? Mine is just not cutting it.

Today the President told that BONKERS Lefty Jacques Chirac that he's "lookng for a new cowboy." Mr. President, me and my 7.2 Inch Mini Cougar are ready. Just say the word.

And finally, although his reporting was Ultra-Super Varnished and most certainly BONKERS to the core, I must admit Hunter S. Thompson was a giant influence on me. He proved that journalists can come in all sorts of varieties. Rest in peace.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

I've Unvarnished And Unfiltered A Rare Interview With Not Anderson Cooper


Not Jeff Gannon Interview, originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.

Go watch me stick it to that BONKERS Lefty who is not Anderson Cooper.

Everyone Take A Deep Breath

I'll be posting my Unvarnished and Unfiltered interview not with Anderson Cooper sometime today. It's a doozy.

Feel free to chat about your favorite pseudonyms. Mine of course is Eric Rohmer. It's so much easier to spell, pronounce and remember than Jean-Marie Maurice Scherer. (Even though I just spelled and pronounced it from memory.) You can learn more about Eric Rohmer by visiting my Groundbreaking French New Wave Wish List.