Jeff Gannon Blog

Friday, February 11, 2005

I've Unvarnished Some News That The Bonkers Lefties In The Liberal Media Have Been Varnishing For Months

This is from the August 9, 2004 Press Briefing with Scott McClellan. Note: I'm not Jeff.
MR. McCLELLAN:Go ahead, Jeff.

Q Thank you. The imam that was arrested in New York last week was discovered because his name appeared in a Rolodex in a terrorist training camp in Iraq before the war. The book was found after, by U.S. troops, but he was in Iraq before the war. Is this another piece of evidence showing the direct terror ties between Iraq and al Qaeda?


Why is the Lefty Media afraid to report on terrorist Rolodexes?

Mailbag (Not An Actual Mailbag)

This is from our new curious friend Sara:

Dear Jeff-Bush's girlfriend-not Gannon,

Hey I just want to know if Bush found you to be sexy as well. I mean when you were licking his A$$, did he say you were sexy? And what did he call you in bed? Jeff or bushy as well.

Thanks!

Hi Sara. I generally don't like to comment on individual opinions of my sexiness. I can say that I do consider myself still sexy after all these years. Also, I can assure you that I wouldn't let anybody call me Jeff or bushy because I am NOT Jeff Gannon and I am NOT bushy.

Hope this helps.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

I Need My Space Three Times A Day

Not being Jeff Gannon is a full time job. I understood that when I made the decision to reveal that I wasn't Jeff Gannon or anyone else who really wasn't Jeff Gannon. People want to get close to me (Not Jeff Gannon) and I understand that.

But could everyone please stop following me when I make one of my three daily trips to Church? (Not a Mosque.)

Now you know four things about me that aren't related to me not being Jeff Gannon:

1)I'm still sexy after all these years
2)I'm a shoe polish journalist
3)I'm a big fan of Steve Sanders (not Ian Zeiring)
4)I go to Church (not a mosque) thrice daily

President Participates in Social Security Conversation in Pennsylvania

THE PRESIDENT: All right. Sukha Brooks.

Q Hi, good evening, Mr. President.

THE PRESIDENT: Sukha, where do you live?

MS. BROOKS: I live in Morton, Pennsylvania.

THE PRESIDENT: Morton, Pennsylvania.

MS. BROOKS: Morton, Pennsylvania.

THE PRESIDENT: And?

MS. BROOKS: I'm currently going through a divorce, and I have three children. Social Security is very important to me. I'm 37 years old. I have an 18-year-old that's started Delaware County Community College, and she's majoring in education. She's -- her aspirations are to become a teacher.

THE PRESIDENT: Good, that's good -- noble.

MS. BROOKS: Two more children, and Social Security is very important being a single mother. We anticipated a lot more investing on my husband's side. I work for a small business, so we did a lot of the investing through his company. And now at the age of 37, I was happy that -- when you talked about this revamping Social Security, particularly on the aspect of personal accounts, because I need to make up some lost time. And I think what you're proposing is giving someone that's in my situation an opportunity to be able to take a personal account into my retirement and to look forward to something -- particularly a higher return in what you're proposing.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes. You know something amazing, I was just thinking, listening to Sukha -- when I was her age, there wasn't a lot of talk about, one, whether Social Security was going to go down the tubes. Fellow baby boomers here, back me up, will you? There wasn't much doubt in our mind, right? It wasn't a conversation. Nor was there a lot of talk about 401(k)s, IRAs, personal accounts. The world of ours has changed. Here's Sukha saying, giving me a chance to invest my own money. There has been a shift of attitude amongst Americans -- all walks of life -- all walks of life.

Mini Mailbag (Not An Actual Mini Mailbag)

Dory said...
Drew Barrymore?!?!? Where are the Hot Military Studs?

Hi Dory. You must be new. I guess I should review some things. I am not Jeff Gannon and I'm not claiming to be someone else who isn't Jeff Gannon. I am also not claiming to be anyone who used to pretend he was Jeff Gannon.

Since I've clearly told you who I'm NOT, let me tell you a few things that I am:

1) Still sexy after all these years.

2) A shoe polish journalist

3) A big fan of Steve Sanders.

Lefty Drew Barrymore is Bonkers


Drew 1
Originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.
PDC wins. I think it was more shoe polish reporting than guess. Well done.

Guess This Lefty (Hint: Think BONKERS)


Guess The Lefty
Originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.
I'll give the answer in a bit. Get those guesses in ASAP. Winner gets a question of his/her choice in the Mailbag. (Not an actual mailbag.)

Why I Decided To Declare That I Am Still Sexy After All These Years (Which Does NOT Mean I'm Jeff Gannon. Because I'm NOT)

Being sexy after all these years is really a state of mind. I don't know if any of you have ever played competitive sports - - - I did, bigtime- - - but it's sort of like being in the zone. I went for months at a time when I couldn't help spinning that discus (I was a nationally ranked discus hurler) farther than anyone else. It was a state of mind. Just like being sexy after all these years.

President Participates in Class-Action Lawsuit Reform Conversation

Here's an Unvarnished quote. Try finding this in the Lefty Media:

"I have asked, and Walter Dellinger has kindly agreed to come. He is a practicing attorney. He is a professor. He's so good at being an attorney, he's teaching others how to be an attorney, at Duke University, if I'm not mistaken. He was telling me today -- I don't know if you know this or not, this falls in the "small world" category -- and if our mutual friend is listening on C-SPAN, it will blow his mind we're talking about him -- but I was raised in Midland, Texas, and the fellow who lives across the street from him in North Carolina's father, was the baby doctor for my three little brothers. Now, how about that for small world? Tell Rodin hello."

A Change of Pace

Whenever I'm having a stressful day, I find it comforting to check out a movie and let the real world fade away for a couple hours. Yesterday I needed a movie more than ever because I was stressed to the max. So I decided to check out Million Dollar Baby.

I liked the movie a lot, but I don't want to spoil it for everyone. I will say that the ending is fabulous and you really only need to see the last thirty minutes. But here's the real issue:

I've always been angry at Hilary Swank for leaving Beverly Hills, 90210. Her departure triggered a chain of events that forever changed the life of my favorite character, Steve Sanders, and resulted in an interacial marriage with a half-asian vixen who was Not Hilary Swank. That just didn't sit right with me.

But finally she's done something to justify her departure from 90210 and now the pressure is on Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea Zuckerman) to do the same.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Evening Thread

I'm off to celebrate Chinese New Year for a bit. (Not America's New Year) Expect a late-night review of the new Hillary Swank movie, Million Dollar Baby.

Chat Away!

More Mailbag For Y'all

My new prolific friend PlasticDeckCup said...
"What's it like being a crazy kick-ass journalist?"

PDC,
I don't really think of myself as that. I'm more of a shoe polish journalist. Do you mind if I call you PDC?

Paul said...
"I'm really glad that I don't read this and just want to say that if I wasn't gay I'd find you not very attractive."

Paul,
I know I stated earlier that I am not claiming to be still sexy after all these years. But I've changed my mind and will now claim that I am still sexy after all these years. I'm still not claiming that I'm Jeff Gannon or anyone else who used to pretend he was Jeff Gannon.

Wiley J Binkett said...
"Hi Not Jeff Gannon. I am a bonkers lefty. I am very not disappointed to see you not resign from Not Talon News. Not."

Hey WJB,
I think your not structure is a little off. Doesn't really make sense. Cool if I refer to you as WJB?

And finally, the always thinking Tomato said...
"Mr. Jeff Gannon, you and I think alike!"

Tomato,
I'm pretty sure no one thinks quite like me. But you're definitely not Bonkers.



Let Me Take A Moment to Unvarnish and Unfilter Some Things

There are a lot of varnished facts out there right now. So let me just restate that I am not Jeff Gannon and I am also not pretending to be someone else who isn't Jeff Gannon and who may or may not have retired from not being Jeff Gannon.

I am just a simple shoe polish reporter from the new media.

Not Jeff Gannon is Not Going Anywhere

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

This Also Isn't Me (or Jeff Gannon)

tiger boxers
tiger boxers,
originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.
Some of you have asked for me to post a picture of myself. Unfortunately, I don't own any pictures of myself.

However, I did a Google picture search and found this guy. He doesn't really look like me (or Jeff Gannon (not me)) but I do own those boxer shorts and prefer them to tighty-whities.

Straight From The President's Mouth - - - An Unfiltered and Unvarnished Position Statement

W.E.B. DuBois placed his hopes in our youngest citizens -- those who had not yet been taught to hate. So he directed his call to them. He said, "We appeal to the young men and women of this nation ... Stand up for the right, prove yourselves worthy of your heritage and ... dare to treat men as men." His appeal echoes across a century, doesn't it?

A Brief Introduction For My New Friends

Not Jeff Gannon-1
Not Jeff Gannon-1,
originally uploaded by Not Jeff Gannon.
Since it seems that more and more people are impressed with my journalism and checking out the site, I figured I might as well introduce myself to the newcomers.

My name is not Jeff Gannon. That is not a picture of me and I don't claim to be still sexy after all these years. . . I am also not pretending to be someone else who isn't Jeff Gannon. I'm just not.

I am a journalist. A down and dirty shoe polish journalist with no patience for varnished and filtered news.

I think Lefties are Bonkers. Downright Bonkers.

For The Record

My name is not James D. Guckert (some don't call me "JD") and I am not pretending to be anyone else whose name is really JD Guckert and is pretending to be Jeff Gannon.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Unfiltered and Unvarnised Social Security Report by Jeff Gannon (not REALLY Jeff Gannon)

Because the -- all which is on the table begins to address the big cost drivers. For example, how benefits are calculate, for example, is on the table; whether or not benefits rise based upon wage increases or price increases. There's a series of parts of the formula that are being considered. And when you couple that, those different cost drivers, affecting those -- changing those with personal accounts, the idea is to get what has been promised more likely to be -- or closer delivered to what has been promised.

Does that make any sense to you? It's kind of muddled. Look, there's a series of things that cause the -- like, for example, benefits are calculated based upon the increase of wages, as opposed to the increase of prices. Some have suggested that we calculate -- the benefits will rise based upon inflation, as opposed to wage increases. There is a reform that would help solve the red if that were put into effect. In other words, how fast benefits grow, how fast the promised benefits grow, if those -- if that growth is affected, it will help on the red.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

My Super Bowl Pick

Tough.

Philly vs. New England. There's the Liberty Bell and the Boston Tea Party. A Patriot vs. an Eagle, two symbols of America. I guess the only difference is that the Eagles have a quarterback who has been propped up a little by the Lefty Liberal Media, who are interested in seeing certain types of people succesful. Tom Brady sat near Laura at the SOTU last year and deserves all his praise.

My pick: Patriots 44
Eagles 13