Jeff Gannon Blog

Saturday, August 13, 2005

President Bush Will Only Use Force As A LAST RESORT

In an EXCLUSIVE 5-minute PROBING OF THE PRESIDENT, I unvarnished this juicy nugget of a scoop: Our HUMBLE President has decided to only use violence against the BARBARIC HIPPIES WHO HAVE INVADED HIS GOD-FEARING HOME TOWN as a last resort.

"All options are on the table," Bush, speaking at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, said. Asked if that included the use of force, Bush replied: "As I say, all options are on the table. The use of force is the last option for any president and you know, we've used force in the recent past to secure our country."


God, does our COMMANDER AND KICK ASS CHIEF know how to lead or what? As a MORTAL MAN, I'm not sure I'd have the patience to hold back against this crew of USA HATERS. Led by OVER-THE-TOP GRIEVING LEFTY FLIP-FLOPPER Cindy Sheehan, these militants MEAN BUSINESS. Yet President Bush is proving his Lincolnesque LEADERSHIP SKILLS with his unique understanding that 9/11 CHANGED EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. These CANNIBALISTIC DEMOCRAT HIPPIES are fighting a DIFFERENT KIND OF WAR and President Bush knows he needs to do the same.

"In all these instances we want diplomacy to work and so we're working feverishly on the diplomatic route and we'll see if we're successful or not."



  • we at cnn have heard but can not confirm that, joe wilson and his slut cia wife has provided the hippies with yellowcake.

    dig my beard.

    By Anonymous not wolff blitzer, at 12:57 PM  

  • we know from experience that the president will only use military force as a very last resort.

    By Anonymous not the un weapons inspectors, at 12:58 PM  

  • we feel the same way.

    don't forget about us.

    By Anonymous poland, at 1:01 PM  

  • eh, hippies, go fuck yourself.

    By Anonymous not dick cheney, at 1:03 PM  

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