Jeff Gannon Blog

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Lefty Militant Hippies Have Invaded Crawford And Are Being Led By Brainwashed Mothers With Dead Sons Who Died A Noble Death For A Noble Cause

This one's a DOOZY guys. While our WORKAHOLIC PRESIDENT tries to get away for a LITTLE BREATHER, scores of BONKERS HIPPIES have surrounded the city and are BRAINWASHING THE WOMEN AND CHILDREN.

Brain washed01

After spending a few hours probing six or seven ADMINISTRATION OFFICIALS, I decided to do what I do best: I polished up my trusty brown Nun Bush's and hit the streets.

First I talked to the GOD-FEARING LOCALS and found out that they have been too scared to go outside of their homes since MICHAEL MOORE WANNABE Cindy Sheehan and her band of LETHAL HIPPIES invaded. One local, who prefered not to be identified due to a WELL-FOUNDED FEAR of being cannibalized by the LIBERALS in town, put it like this:
It's just a darn shame that these Democrats and centrist Republicans have decided to attack President Bush's hometown. I mean, this is where he learned to be a rancher. What a darn shame. Does anybody remember Freedom?


The scene on the streets was SCARY AS HELL. I saw troops of hippies marching in unison to BONKERS LEFTY WAR MUSIC.

crawford hippies

I saw MILITANT HIPPIE MILITIAS preparing shields for THEIR UNJUSTIFIED WAR ON CRAWFORD.

crawford hippies2

And the children. The poor poor children. I saw FORMER INNOCENT CHILDREN who have been trained by their HIPPIE MOTHERS (who were themselves BRAINWASHED by MICHAEL MOORE)TO BE FULLY BONKERS LEFTISTS.

YoungLiberal
crawfordhippies3

And the ringleader is Cindy Sheehan. A woman who has flip-flopped her position on her son's death more than John Kerry's flip-flops combined.

sheehan

First she's happy about her son's death and then she's sad. Then she says she was actually sad about her son's death before she was happy about it. Get a backbone. Ever heard of RESOLVE?

flip flop

8 Comments:

  • not jeff,
    we are gathering names in preparation for the list we are making. please supply us all with all names you can get, and we will add them to the list. the list will make america safer.

    By Anonymous not karl rove, at 8:44 PM  

  • it's funny, you can always identify the agitators by their footware. sandals. how gross.

    would you like to dance with me?

    By Anonymous jenna bush, at 8:47 PM  

  • why do i hate america? why do i hate my dead son?

    By Anonymous not cindy sheehan, at 8:48 PM  

  • it's all going according to plan.

    program alert:
    faranheit 9/11 is playing all month on showtime.

    By Anonymous not michael moore, at 8:50 PM  

  • would someone please stop my bonkers mom from pissing on my grave. i died for a noble cause even if there weren't any wmd's.

    By Anonymous not casey sheehan, at 8:54 PM  

  • it's come to my attention that ms sheehan (might be a jew) has taken ill. let me know if i can help.

    By Anonymous not josef mengele, at 8:58 PM  

  • Amazing job on your Blog! I'll definatly be coming back. If you're interested, check out my Nintendo Revolution Secrets blog that shows unveils all th secrets there are to know about this upcoming system.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:33 PM  

  • What "noble cause" did any American service person die for in Bush's invasion of Iraq? Our armed forces are in Iraq to make Bush and his cronies richer. Period. End of story. That is not a "noble cause" for anyone.

    BTW. Since I'm the only person outside of yourself to actually comment on your blog, here's a clue, "jenna bush" wears sandals and flip-flops. If you had any shred of journalistic credibility, you might have noticed that in many of the photos of her. Get a clue, moron.

    By Blogger Doug, at 6:03 PM  

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