Jeff Gannon Blog

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

I've Got A Sack Full Of Shoe Polish And A Right Mind To Do Some Real Probing

I like my journalism like I like my cigarettes: UNFILTERED and UVARNISHED. And in a yet another example of my supreme devotion to the craft of SHOE POLISH REPORTING, I have decided to let my HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of fans decide my next mission.

Assignment #1
ohio
Go to Ohio and investigate these troubling voting irregularities I have been hearing about lately. There's just no chance that the fine people of MY FAVORITE DISTRICT would have voted for that glorified LEFTY ACCOUNTANT. Usually, only a handful of SCREWBALL LIBERALS vote against whatever STIFF CONSERVATIVE HERO is on the ballot. I'd like to get some leather on the streets of Ohio and check it out for myself.

Assignment #2
New Orleans LA Civil Sheriff
I'd love to spill a little polish in New Orleans and look for the cocaine in that black Congressman's house and car.

Assignment #3
Florida
MICHAEL SCHIAVO must be related to Joe Wilson. I'll find out.

Assignment #4
alaska
Are BONKERS LEFTIES trying to hide something inside those pipelines?

Please email your vote. I will only accept one vote per email account. I've hired two interns to tally the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF VOTES that will flood jeffgannon@mac.com.

6 Comments:

  • good post... thanks.

    Jon
    my site: net iq

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:15 AM  

  • SCRAM!

    By Blogger J. Gannon, at 12:37 AM  

  • What about investigating these bonkers extreme leftists and their propagandistic attempts to blacken the good name of John Roberts??

    Roberts Donated Help to Gay Rights Case

    By Blogger Trey Desolay, at 11:14 AM  

  • Stick to the options, Trey.

    BONKERS EXTREME LEFTISTS ARE EVERYWHERE. Where would I go?

    By Blogger J. Gannon, at 11:33 AM  

  • I bet those BONKERS LEFTISTS are trying to REBUILD THAT LAND BRIDGE to COMMIEPINKOLAND, RUSSIA!

    Go to Alaska with your FINE WEAPON and suss 'em out!

    By Blogger Lillet Langtry, at 11:49 AM  

  • how many times does it have to happen before you get it through your head! that twat cheated tuesday, and you claim liberals cheat. bush stole ohio, like he stole florida. when are you going WAKE UP and call these douchebags on it.
    oh yeah, youre a republican, party trumps country. youre nothing short of a traitor. and youre not the real not jeff gannon.

    i have no sense of humor.

    By Anonymous a uppity bonkers liberal, at 5:42 PM  

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