Jeff Gannon Blog

Monday, August 15, 2005

Electric Voodoo Liberal Arrives In Crawford

FAKE HOMOSEXUAL LEFTY Jimi Hendrix has joined the MILITANT HIPPY TERROR SQUAD. Although long thought dead, I can state with the CERTAINTY OF A SHOE POLISH VETERAN that this BARBARIC HIPPIE is alive and well. How do I know? Simple.

I PROBED HIM MYSELF.

jimi_joint

On faking his death:

Arlo told me to do it," Jimi admitted. "He said pretending to be gay might not work in the future because the military was becoming liberalized beyond our TRUEST LIBERAL DREAMS. The only way to permanently avoid the draft would be to fake my death.


guthrie,arlo-alices-ost-lp

On his illicit SEXUAL LOVE AFFAIR with Cindy Sheehan (she's involved in several):

I think the reason Cindy and I enjoy our sex so much is because it just feels good so we do it, you know? It's like, you know, we don't have no DAMN GOD telling us anything is wrong with saying yes to our nastiest urges.


making-woopie

On his reason for coming back to life:

I just see a lot of like-minded people, man. You know? Kerry will smoke a bowl at a moments notice and just shoot straight reality about the things we need to accomplish like increasing the amount of abortions, illegal aliens, and taxes in America. Kerry also has some great self-inflicted wound war stories that he'll tell if he's done enough HARD DRUGS.


mar_looseice_methamphetamine_bag

On Michael More:

Straight reality right here: I would take a bullet for Michael Moore, you know? He has an even better way for me to get out of Iraq or any future wars. He says to just not be poor. Apparently I could probably even be lower-middle class and I wouldn't get drafted. As long as I'm not poor. Do you know if Americans would pay to watch a really old rock star try to perform?


MOORE

3 Comments:

  • It sounds like Jimi Hendrix has some LEFTY homosexual leanings toward his lefty friend MICHAEL MOORE. I don't believe a damn word he says.

    By Blogger Ashbloem, at 9:11 AM  

  • i have it from a very reliable source that jim morrison is also alive and wants to take acid and sleep with cindy sheehan because he's heard how she gets around.

    By Anonymous not sean hannity, at 6:23 PM  

  • if i come to crawford and mow down crosses honoring the dead who have died a noble death for a noble cause, spit in cindy sheehans face, and fire a shotgun in the air, can i escape extradition?

    By Anonymous not governor bob taft, at 6:33 PM  

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