Jeff Gannon Blog

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Not Jeff Gannon Media Watch

Let's Roll.

A BONKERS Deadhead Lefty slams the site big-time:
BTW this "Jeff Gannon" blog is some grade A dada humor! Whoever's writing it takes great pains to point out that he's not the real Jeff, Administration Paid Shill number whatever, but rather someone with a great Andy Kaufman sense of humor. If you read the comments you'll see there are people on both sides who are not getting the joke. That's why it's Boss, Daddyo.
You want to know what's grade A dada humor? A Deadhead talking about politics, that's what. And secondly, I am NOT Andy Kaufman and I am NOT Daddyo.

This fool doesn't like how I describe my weapon:
After the news broke that Guckert/Gannon was a male prostitute, Democrats in Congress started to cool on the idea of pushing for an investigation. Get that? Sounds like Guckert may have had a non-partisan client list, and boots are shaking on both sides of the isle. Even David Corn seems to be backing off. And all this happened after "Not Jeff Gannon" posted a couple rather strange things about "my weapon" on his blog. Sounds like a threat, to me.
I'm not sure what's so strange about a my 7.2 Inch Mini Cougar. Why don't you tell us about your weapon?

And finally, someone who claims to be named Wonkette clearly has her facts wrong:
Jeff Gannon Blogs

In the fine tradition of NYT reporter Adam Nagourney and other imaginary journalist-type people (we were pretty sure James Wolcott was imaginary too until quite recently, but we were disabused of that notion when he approached Wonkette on behalf of Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter for a Hollywoood-treatment-for-sex negotiation), Talon News reporter Jeff Gannon has a blog! Hey! Try and parse that last sentence! It's only 1:30 and I'm utterly shit-faced. Now I understand why Real Wonkette is always IMing me incoherently in the middle of a workday. But I bet Jeff Gannon is drunk too. Probably with Scott McClellan. At Bachelor's Mill. What were we talking about? —C.S.
Jeff Gannon Blog [JGB]

Hey Wonkette, I'm NOT Jeff Gannon.


  • I think you should call a press conference to clear the air. Or you could be interviewed by Wolf Blitzer, I suppose. This would allow you to physically demonstrate that you are not Gannon or Andy Kaufman or Sally Field or whoever. However, if there are reality-based journalists at the press conference it's likely they'll ask you who you really are. At that point you could pull out your mini cougar, wave it menacingly in the air, and say, "This is who I am, Motherfuckers!" Silly but it would make all the news shows and blogs (particularly if you shot someone) and you'd probably get a segment on The Daily Show.

    By Blogger steverford, at 8:36 AM  

  • I am DONE speaking with the media. Every time I'm mentioned, there's another conspiracy theory floated about. This is the only place I will communicate.

    By Blogger J. Gannon, at 11:18 AM  

  • You say you aren't Jeff Gannon.

    Prove it. [smile]

    - not thomas mc

    By Blogger Thomas Mc., at 1:05 PM  

  • I am NOT Jeff Gannon and that's all there is to it.

    By Blogger J. Gannon, at 1:38 PM  

  • Will you post a photo of my penis ?
    Just a small one ?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:50 PM  

  • Anonymous,
    This isn't really a website for that kind of talk.

    By Blogger J. Gannon, at 3:01 PM  

  • Anonymous,

    I have to ask: Do you mean a small photo of your penis or a photo of your small penis?

    In any case, I don't blame you for posting anonymously.

    By Blogger steverford, at 3:23 PM  

  • wonkette, ehhh...go fuck yourself.

    By Anonymous not dick cheney, at 3:54 PM  

  • after NPR, and efitist hollywood bonkers elite, blogs (with one notable exception) represents our greatest obstacle in stopping the rampant spread of the homosexual ideology in the public school system.

    By Anonymous not margaret spellings, secretary of education, at 4:01 PM  

  • homosexual blogs must be stopped or we will fall prey to bestality blogs.

    Where the fuck is my dog?

    By Anonymous not rick santorum, at 4:04 PM  

  • I am a firm believer in slippery slopes.

    By Blogger J. Gannon, at 4:08 PM  

  • until the liberal media changes it ways and consistently provides a fair and balanced assessment of the news than fox news channel will continue to monitor to ensure our audience remains the best informed citizens of this great nation.

    By Anonymous not roger ailes, at 4:17 PM  

  • i happen to think that not jeff gannon's weapon and his willingness to use it might come in handy in some future operations i'm planning.

    By Anonymous not donald rumsfeld (not written from the newly formed special security branch), at 4:21 PM  

  • that slut wonkette better stay away from my man!

    also, i love your gun and your appreciation for french new wave cinema reassures me that you would only beat me when i really deserved it.

    By Anonymous daughter of the american revolution, at 4:35 PM  


    Today in a debate, Richard Perle was struck in the head by a shoe thrown by newly elected Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean. Richard Perle was not seriously injured in the incident.

    By Anonymous from not the american enterprise institute, at 4:39 PM  

  • despite my hatred for the grateful dead, and most things associated with them--most notably their wreaking following of commie dead heads who refuse to bathe and wander the country in an LSD enduced trance. However, if they happen to disappear, theyre generally not missed. That sort of apathy benefits the spread of democracy.

    By Anonymous instructor at the school of americas, at 4:45 PM  

  • Instructor,
    You need to lay off the weed for a while. This ain't the cannabis blog.

    Not Donald Rumsfeld,

    I'd advise you to tie Not Jeff Gannon to an ironclad contract right away before some foreign power makes him a better offer. Even if he loses his willingness to utilize his manly gun in your next imperial adventure, he can redecorate the officers' quarters.

    By Blogger steverford, at 4:51 PM  

  • steveford, be advised, we aren't imperialists...we are liberators offering freedom and democracy to the poor and oppressed people of Iraq.
    also, speaking for the instructor at the school of the americas...he definitely doesn't smoke, you know, the pot.

    Remember, we're spreading freedom!

    By Anonymous not donald rumsfeld, at 4:59 PM  

  • Hey Not Donald Rumsfeld,

    Just wanted to give you a macho thumbs up on the way you didn't tell those congressional committees to go fuck themselves earlier this week. Not dealing with that shit is definitely above your "pay level."

    So when do we not invade Iran?

    By Blogger steverford, at 5:37 PM  

  • stveford,
    I know my French New Wave admission threw you for a loop, but I would never lose my willingness to fire my 7.2 inch Mini Cougar.

    By Blogger J. Gannon, at 6:00 PM  

  • Just don't shoot the piano player

    By Blogger steverford, at 6:17 PM  

  • steverford.
    Once he gets this bit of untidiness tidied up in Iraq.
    Iran will come a begging for a little democracy from old Uncle Donny

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 6:17 PM  

  • it has become clear, certain people here have been watching the bonkers liberal media...iraq is not "un"tidy. quite to the contrary iraq is an oasis of democracy and capitalism. also, the president was quite pleased with the way not donald rumsfeld answered all of the committee members questions. any talk of not invading iran is premature at this point, we are looking to settle the iranian crisis with a modicum of diplomacy.

    By Anonymous not the white house press secretary scott mcClellan, at 6:35 PM  

  • njg,
    im sure the 7.2 inch mini cougar is a fine weapon for close combat, but we can offer you the opportunity to fire a really big gun.

    By Anonymous marine recruiter, at 6:40 PM  

  • Nice interview you didn't do with Anderson Cooper.

    By Blogger Thomas Mc., at 8:18 PM  

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