Jeff Gannon Blog

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Let Me Take A Moment to Unvarnish and Unfilter Some Things

There are a lot of varnished facts out there right now. So let me just restate that I am not Jeff Gannon and I am also not pretending to be someone else who isn't Jeff Gannon and who may or may not have retired from not being Jeff Gannon.

I am just a simple shoe polish reporter from the new media.

29 Comments:

  • I'm really glad that I don't read this and just want to say that if I wasn't gay I'd find you not very attractive

    By Blogger Paul, at 1:46 PM  

  • What's it like being a crazy kick-ass journalist?

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:29 PM  

  • Have you ever wanted to murder one of your colleagues for being a bonkers lefty?

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:30 PM  

  • My neighbor was a socialist, so I sneaked out of the house one night and set their hedges on fire. That showed that traitorous hag! They never figured out it was me, either. How cool is that, Not Jeff Gannon?

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:32 PM  

  • You know that socialist lady I told you about, Not Jeff Gannon? She had me push her around the subdivision the other day in her wheelchair, and I let her roll down a hill. I pretended like it was an accident and pulled one over on her! Hehe! Take that you bonkers lefty!

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:39 PM  

  • Oh, guess what, Not Jeff Gannon: I stopped my school's democrazy club. They wanted to have a "tolerance day," but we both know that's just a front for the homosexual agenda. I organized a hetero protest and they couldn't do anything! Suck that, lefties!

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:42 PM  

  • How are you planning, Not Jeff Gannon, to fight the SpongeBob Fagpants agenda? Can we kill someone to teach them a lesson? Can we at least set someone's hedges on fire or push them down a hill in a wheelchair?

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:44 PM  

  • Look out, Lefties; Not Jeff Gannon's on the scene!

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:52 PM  

  • If you ever need to kill someone, Not Jeff Gannon, I've got your back.

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:56 PM  

  • Also, if you ever need five bucks or something, I'm there for you.

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 2:59 PM  

  • This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 3:04 PM  

  • I think Tomato's idea about adopting an old person is great! They should open shelters for old people, and if they aren't adopted within a certain period of time, they should be euthanized. I'd keep mine in a closet with a bottle of booze for food. Also, if he/she tried to escape, not so fast: my door is lined with razor wire.

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 3:20 PM  

  • That guy is bonkers, Mr. Jeff Gannon. Not like you and me.

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:25 PM  

  • If you someday decide to host another "mailbag" post, Not Jeff Gannon, I would be so totally uber-honored to have one of my comments presented unvarnished. Also, I would like to point out that Tomato is right to back prayer. I don't think that socialist across the street prays, but I sure do. Prayer is like macaroni and cheese: the socialist lefties hate it because it's American.

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 3:26 PM  

  • So, Mr. Jeff Gannon, I hear you have a connection to military prostitution. I don't know what that means, do you? We did not learn that in my sex ed class.

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:28 PM  

  • Why are you all "up in my grill," Tomato? We're fighting for the same goal! I've endorsed your ideas! I'll even offer you five bucks if you ever need it!

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 3:29 PM  

  • Mr. Jeff Gannon, I heard on liberal radio today that the prescription drug benefit for seniors is going to cost a trillion dollars! I don't understand why seniors need a trillion dollars worth of drugs. You're old, you're supposed to feel like crap!

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:31 PM  

  • Mr. Jeff Gannon, how many bunker busters can you buy with a trillion dollars? I'll bet it's a lot.

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:32 PM  

  • If you wonder why our soldiers don't have body armor, go take a look at all those smelly drug addled seniors on the bus.

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:34 PM  

  • Why must we be scornful, why, why?

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 3:37 PM  

  • Mr. Jeff Gannon, right before she died, my grandmother had to be carted to the voting booth like Hannibal Lecter to the penitentiary except instead of the mask she forgot her teeth. She arose from her stupor long enough to ask who was the communist candidate. I think that if you are probably not going to make it through the president's term, you should not get to vote. What do you think?

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:39 PM  

  • I think if you are over 65, you should probably have to bring a doctor's note to the polls.

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:41 PM  

  • Mr. Jeff Gannon, they shoot horses, don't they?

    By Blogger Tomato, at 3:42 PM  

  • I think we should set the Social Security Administration office on fire. How cool would that be?

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 3:43 PM  

  • Have you ever been to Pittsburg and seen the PPG building? That's a lot of glass.

    By Blogger PlasticDeckCup, at 3:48 PM  

  • Hi Not Jeff Gannon. I am a bonkers lefty. I am very not disappointed to see you not resign from Not Talon News. Not.

    By Blogger Wiley J Binkett, at 3:57 PM  

  • Jeff, this is Karl Rove here. We need you in the executive washroom, STAT.
    Bring a hypodermic.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:18 PM  

  • please leave this great country to real patriots your neo-cons are more communist than anything I have ever seen.
    Chris Mckay

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:34 AM  

  • Hey, it's bush here.. i miss you rimming my arse?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:59 PM  

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